How to Stay Unstuck

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Many can change but few can stay changed. Overcoming an addiction, making a career change, fighting through marriage issues, parenting stubborn children or fulfilling a God-given purpose all go through seasons of change. It seems like when you think you have something under control, you lose it.  And when you are doubtful something will ever be tamed, you overcome it.  The problem most times is not the initial change but sustaining unstuck for the long haul through the seasons of change. 

I have personally overcome a drug and alcohol addiction for the last 18 years without one relapse. My life has been like a roller coaster of ups and downs, highs and lows - in my Christianity, in my relationships, in the pursuit of higher education, finding the right mentors, landing the right job to the launch my ministry, my marriage, family, parenting two children and everything in between. 

I have managed to stay unstuck and on the path to long-term sustainable change as a result of adopting the following four convictions: 

Conviction #1 :: Surround Yourself With Unstuck People

You become like the people you are around. Plus, if you choose to isolate, you will not become like the people you should be around. People are like elevators; they will take you up or down. Make sure the people you choose to invest your life into are pressing up even if they have been down. If you surround yourself with people who are stuck in life as your primary influences, you will stay stuck yourself. Be around people who are hungry for the next level in life. Stay around people who constantly strive to lift the lid on their lives. Partner with people on a mission to achieve their full potential. 

Who is succeeding on the level in life that you are striving for? 

Conviction #2 :: Shift Your Mindset

Change the way you think about your life and you will change your life. I have committed to thinking nothing is impossible with God in every area of my life from growing one of Maryland's fastest multi-site organizations to starting a successful non-profit to encouraging my friends for greatness to my dreams for my children. I look at every situation and circumstance through the lens of a hope comes out of hopeless every time if you let it. I believe with all my heart God can turn my endings into new beginnings and my situations into resurrections.  

What situation appears to be dead you can start believing God can resurrect? 

Conviction #3 :: Minimize Your Down Time

I have committed myself to be a lifetime learner. Leaders are learners and learners are leaders. I do not ever want to lead on empty. So I obsess over learning from people, books, conferences, sermons, motivational speakers, mentors, consultants, and life. I do not allow grass to grow under my feet when it comes to learning. Anytime I have the chance I am listening to someone or reading something from car rides to the gym to my quiet time at night to the time I use to eat lunch and every moment in between. 

Most times we get stuck in our faith, our relationships, our calling, our job, our marriages, our parenting, our service to the community and so on because of a lack of wisdom or understanding of a situation or circumstance we are facing. But if you are constantly planting seeds in wisdom and understanding in your life, you will be able to stay on the road of sustained change. Remember, you will never waste the time you take to sharpen your tools. 

What can you start learning today to ensure a harvest is in the making for tomorrow? 

Conviction #4 :: Examine Your Habits

The life you live today is the byproduct of yesterday’s habits. Change today’s habits to change your tomorrow. There are many habits: sleeping, working, reading, learning, communicating, socializing, spending, saving, connecting, networking and on. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. But why do some people become more productive than others? I have discovered its because they focus on doing only what he or she can do with their 24 hours that sets them apart. Every habit in their life supports their God given assignment in life. 

What is it God has created you to do on the planet? What is your purpose for the season of life you are in? 

Everything you do should support the road to fulfilling your purpose. No matter how long it takes to order your affairs in life so that you can do life out of your sweet spot, it’s worth the wait and the work. 

- Jess Bousa

Jess Bousa